


les mémoires de toi et moi

by jeonkwon



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: VERKWAN AND I ARE AN UNSTOPPABLE FORCE, at night i think of yooouuu, fem!Seungkwan, genderbender, i just really like childhood bffs!verkwan growing up together and falling in love, someone send help pls i can't stop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-07
Updated: 2016-06-07
Packaged: 2018-06-07 22:05:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6826612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeonkwon/pseuds/jeonkwon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You know those moments when you're hit with a flood of memories because your memory has been primed? Yeah, Hansol has one of those.</p>
            </blockquote>





	les mémoires de toi et moi

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own anything but the plot. Any similarities between this fic and another is coincidental. The characters depicted in this fic do not reflect their real life counterparts.
> 
> Title means "the memories of you and me". Excuse my French if it's wrong. I've taken three years of it and I still can't even remember if "voiture" is masculine or feminine and I still think "un crayon" is still a Crayon, not a pencil, rip. If it's wrong, please drop a comment to let me know! Thank you! (:
> 
> This also isn't beta'd so if there are any mistakes, feel free to let me know as well. Enjoy!

Hansol doesn’t remember when he first met Seungkwan. It was probably when they were around three years old, still a little clumsy on their feet and still letting a few gibberish words out here and there. He knew because his mother had shown him videos of them from their early years. In every single one, they were always laughing wherever they would go together. There were photo albums full of pictures of Hansol and Seungkwan through the years as they grew up together, a few embarrassing, some disheartening, but most happy and full of joy.

He does remember though, back in second grade, when Seungkwan took him by the hand and led him to the playground, eyes sparkling as she asked him to play tag with her and their friends. She fell and broke her arm that day, and Hansol was near tears as the teachers rushed her to the infirmary and nearly trashed the office when they wouldn’t allow him to commute with her to the hospital. When Seungkwan was discharged from the hospital, she brought Hansol chocolates because she felt bad for making him worried and he almost cried because what had he done to deserve such a best friend who made his well-being a priority over her own?

And he does remember in fourth grade, when fifth-grader Kim Mingyu confessed to her, and she shook her head, apologizing as a polite rejection to his feelings. She ran to Hansol’s side and wrapped her hand in his, declaring their future marriage was never to be interfered with. A year later it became fulfilled. Their friends threw them a fake wedding, with a flower crown made specially by Hansol for her to wear, and he held a ring made of a dandelion (Chan didn’t have the same recess time as them so they had to make do without a ring boy) while he waited for her at the altar, also known as the end of the mulch leading from the sidewalk to the swings. They didn’t kiss, because Hansol was too shy and Seungkwan was too embarrassed but Hansol confidently grabbed her hand as they smiled at their friends, thanking them for helping pull it off. 

He remembers middle school coming and going. They went through their ups and downs but ultimately ended the three years with more memories than regrets. Middle school was also the time Hansol thought maybe Seungkwan had gotten a lot prettier, like a lot prettier. Hansol had always thought Seungkwan was beautiful, but seeing her in this new setting, with so many other boys wanting to become her friend, Hansol would get jealous. But then he’d see her while she was laughing with friends, the way her eyebrows would furrow when she was working on a problem and he understood why so many boys were pinning after her. 

Even with so many boys, Hansol felt like the luckiest guy in the world being her best friend. Seungkwan always came back to him at the end of the day, politely declining requests for dates and would only hold up her hand entwined with Hansol and wiggle her fingers when they persisted. Everyone knew they weren’t dating, but backed off anyway because they knew they stood no chance, not with Hansol by her side.

In ninth grade, Hansol wished that maybe Seungkwan would feel the same way for him as he did for her. Her personality had always been outgoing so she made friends easily. Except now it was high school and with high school was the integration of the majority of the population of the three middle schools in the district, which meant there would be even more boys around her. Hansol let her be, once in a while observing her behavior to watch her reactions to the advancements of the friends who were interested in her. Her responses never seemed to be encouraging, so Hansol asked her about it one day, feet dangling from the pier, and when Seungkwan just shrugged and leaned her head on his shoulder instead, it left him with more unanswered questions than he had answered. Her foot hit his as she started swinging them. “Maybe I just don’t like them.” She mumbled.

Tenth grade had bought upon the woes of Seungkwan’s first boyfriend and a trip to the principal’s office for Hansol after he found out the asshole dumped her for another girl. Hansol had given him a good punch to the face when he sized him up in the cafeteria later that day. What was more important was that Seungkwan was such a mess that she left school early, so Hansol didn’t even get the chance to see her beforehand. He went to her house that night after stopping by the store for some ice cream and awkwardly smiled at her father who opened the door with a raised brow. “I don’t know if she’s ready for _any_ boys right now.” He sighed.

“I understand.” Hansol sadly smiled and turned to walk home but as soon as the door closed, he immediately spun on his heel and darted toward the backyard. He knocked on her window located conveniently on ground-level and climbed in when Seungkwan opened it. She burst into tears as soon as he stood on his two feet, and he didn’t know exactly what to do with one hand holding a bag of ice cream and the other holding his phone, and he especially didn’t know what to do with both hands occupied _and_ a girl crying her eyes out into his shirt. So he did what he thought was logical and dropped both objects in his hands without a care and instead wrapped them around Seungkwan to comfort her. Seungkwan had always chided him for doing such things after that day but would secretly smile when she thought he wasn’t looking at her anymore.

In eleventh grade, when Seungkwan stole Hansol’s hoodie before leaving for vacation, claiming she would miss him too much and needed some sort of comfort, Hansol nearly ripped her plane ticket in half just to keep her with him. Seungkwan’s delicate fingers had held onto his tightly as they neared the airport, and Hansol almost couldn’t put the car in park as they pulled into a vacant spot in the parking ramp. Her parents had flown out before her, allowing her to spend a few more days with Hansol before heading over herself. Seungkwan didn’t want to let go, and neither did he. But when they arrived at check-in, Hansol had to pry her fingers from his, albeit very reluctantly. Seungkwan’s eyes had teared as she allowed him to and wrapped her arms around him, face buried in his neck. “I’ll miss you.” 

“It’s only three months. It’ll be over before you know it.” Hansol comfortingly patted her back and smiled as he pulled away. “But I'll miss you too, so hurry back.”

“I will.” Seungkwan grinned despite her tears and pushed herself on her toes, even though it wasn’t necessary, and placed a fleeting kiss to his cheek. “We’ll FaceTime, right? And you’ll pick me up when I come back?”

“I’ll be the first person you see.” Hansol promised.

And as Hansol watched Seungkwan walk away slowly, dragging her luggage behind her, stopping every few seconds to turn back and send a flying kiss to him, he realized it never crossed his mind until then; what were the chances of Seungkwan being in love with him as well?

After three long months of lagging FaceTime talks and urgent messages loaded with pictures, Seungkwan came running through the sliding doors and jumped right into Hansol’s arms. There were already tears as she pulled away, looking at his face. “I'm so weak.” She cried. “I missed you so much.” 

Hansol could only laugh, the one he knew Seungkwan adored to no end and wrapped his arms around her tightly, having no plans to ever let her leave his side ever again. “I did too.”

And he especially remembers sophomore year of college, when Seungkwan laid across Hansol’s chest, eyes drooping as she tried to fight off sleep. They were in his bed, the only source of light being from the television. “Hansol?”

He hummed in acknowledgement, moving a hand behind his neck as support. 

“I love you.” She mumbled. 

“I do too.” He said without missing a heartbeat. 

“But I really do.” She insisted, pushing herself up to look him in the eye. “I love you.”

Hansol broke his concentration from the TV. “Yeah, me too.” He tried to play it off cool because he wasn’t sure, but was Seungkwan confessing to him? 

“I mean like madly in love with you for the past how many years.” She ran a hand through her hair in frustration, suddenly much more awake than she was just seconds ago. “This is honestly the crappiest time to confess but I’ve had enough of the 'he’s my best friend' spiel because I _don’t_ want you to be just my best friend anymore. I want you to be my boyfriend too.”

Hansol could only watch her with an open mouth as she finished. “Uh…”

Her eyes searched his face for a reaction and her tense shoulders deflated, expression then crestfallen. “Have I been reading you wrong this whole time?” She sounded utterly defeated and Hansol almost punched himself for making her doubt.

Hansol shook his head. “No! I just-” he stammered, “-it was unexpected because I’ve been waiting for you for years.”

Seungkwan sighed in relief and melted against his chest, fingers curled into the blanket as a smile creeped onto her face. “That’s nice to hear.” 

Hansol looked down at her and hoped she couldn’t feel the rapid beating of his heart. 

“Your heart is beating really fast.” She giggled. 

He turned red. Of course she could feel it, probably could even hear it. “Only for you.” He cheekily said. 

Seungkwan pinched his arm and propped her chin on her arm that was resting atop his chest. “Does that mean I can kiss you now?” She asked, eyes genuinely curious. 

Hansol’s eyes darted back and forth between her and the TV, not sure of where to look because if he looked into her eyes for too long he might fall a little more too hard for her (he did). “I guess? I mean-”

Seungkwan lunged forward and pressed her lips to his, effectively shutting him up. There was quite of an obscene smack as she pulled away from him, satisfied smile on her lips. 

“What are you doing?” He asked, eyes wide. 

“Shutting you up.” She easily said, then gave him a flirtatious look. “Sexily.” 

Hansol frowned. He had heard that before somewhere. “Are you quoting Descendants of the Sun?”

Seungkwan snapped her fingers. “Bingo.” 

Hansol rolled his eyes and with a sudden surge of confidence, curled two fingers under her chin and led her back in for another kiss. 

He liked that, that they could go back to being as comfortable as they were before her confession. He liked feeling at ease with no worries of where to place his hand or where to take her for a date or how far he could get with a joke before she got mad. They wouldn’t have to go through any awkward first dates, worry about what to wear in front of the other or what to get as gifts because he already knew all of that, no questions needed.

He let Seungkwan get comfortable after she had gotten up to switch off the light. She tucked herself into the space created when he turned to face her and gladly took her into his arms. Seungkwan smiled up at him, and Hansol smiled back, leaning down to kiss her nose. “Good night, Seungkwan.” 

She pushed herself up for one last kiss that night. “Night, Hansol.”

 

And as Hansol watches Seungkwan walk down the aisle toward him, arm linked with her father, dressed beautifully in a white wedding gown, hair curled into endless waves with a bouquet in hand, he can’t help but think back to that time in fifth grade when they got married for the first time that became an unspoken promise of their future. Almost unable to control his expressions as he thought how much that foreshadowed their life, he realizes his face was probably contorting in an ugly fashion in attempt to keep calm as they neared.

Here they were, about to get married, just like when they were eleven years old, but this time as Hansol leans in, one hand resting on the small of her back, the other cupping her cheek, eyes gazing into hers, he can’t help but think once again how lucky he is to be her best friend and this time, closes the gap between their lips.

Now here they were, married, standing before all the guests, just like when they were eleven years old. Only now this time, it was for real.


End file.
